I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
