That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I wish they made helmets for livers.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
