she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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