so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
