good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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