I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
