i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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