stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Holy shit dude........stairs
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