come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
even my farts smell like vagina
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
