his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
