i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
