I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
