i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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