I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
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