Whod you bang
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
