I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
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drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
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So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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