i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
