There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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