I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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