Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I didn't notice because vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize