i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
