I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
