we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
