After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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