So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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