Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
