I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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