I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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