normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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