Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
