i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize