I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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