I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
