Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
