I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
