Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
