She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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