You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
