ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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