Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
