Just mADE A PArabola og urine
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
