i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
