does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
