He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
