I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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