it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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