hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
