JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
