her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize