Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Plan B is the new Plan A
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i will never coherently bang her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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