just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
