I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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