My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
