I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Of course I have a pirate flag
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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