Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
