I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
