porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
