Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
