If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
